ok, now this is the real about me thing. I'm a 17-year-old guy from the internet, have nothing to attract attention. has multiple mental illnesses and extreme thoughts.
>religions and political ideologies are nonsense
>hates consumerism and Apple
>does not use social media, reads imageboards
>average serial experiments lain and ghost in the shell fan
>worships Lain
>usually listens to breakcore, heavy metal, but listens to all kinds of music
>transhumanist, obviously.
>drugs and suicide are not bullshit
>daydreams more than 6 hours a day and probably has dissociative identity disorder or something like that.
-Now I will try to determine my alters for the first time. There are 3 of them and let's name them a, b and c for now.
>a is the personality I want for the host and is the most "normal" person. he loves living, he has goals. he loves meeting new people etc.
>b is on the dark side, he constantly repeats that he will commit suicide. but it's really a lot. so much that I can't even hear my own thoughts or the conversation around me.
prone to self-harm and drug use, the owner of all bad thoughts. he thinks that there are people constantly watching and hearing him.
he feels he has to constantly turn around and check that he is alone in the room. sometimes it becomes so disturbing that he has to change his location.
he hates people, does not like crowded places and does not participate in social activities. if he has to, he starts to tremble, sweat and tense a little.
>c is the personality I know the least about, I just realized that. it acts as a bridge between a and b and sometimes helps settle arguments in my head.
he is generally the most logical and speaks less.
-I've just started identifying triggers and have found 3 of them
the first trigger is the girl I like and I don't wanna write about it because it makes me feel sick and makes me want to throw myself out the window.
the second is taking shower. while taking a shower, I usually have a meeting in my head and question how my week went.
sometimes I sit underwater for 3 hours because of daydreaming.
The third is listening to music. I usually have my headphones on while daydreaming, but now I've stopped this habit and don't listen to music.
*and at the same time I don't know which personality I am at the time of writing this article. usually a and b exist at the same time but one of them is dominant
